Difficulties are chances to recommit or reinvent ourselves

When I find myself facing my deepest and darkest days, I ask myself whether or not I am on the right path.

It seems whenever I struggled at a job, or with a person, or trying to achieve a goal, when I stepped back and looked at the situation objectively, sometimes I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole. In some instances, I wasn’t the right fit as an employee, friend, girlfriend, musician, or athlete. Other times, it seemed like everything was effortless: I felt satisfaction, happiness, and received compliments—for example, ‘you are such a gifted writer’.

Some things come easier to us while other things just never seem to be the right fit. Over the years I learned I was not meant to be a violinist or a serious tennis player. And, although I didn’t know it at the time, I now recognize my talent as a writer.

In my personal life, I’ve never walked away from a difficult relationship. But difficult people have walked away from me. It was not until I was in my 40′s that I realized how dangerous it is to need to be liked or loved. That is not to say we all don’t need friends, family, and love. What matters is whether or not you like yourself and love yourself.

If you are a person who does the right thing and treats people right, it will follow that people will like you (and probably love you). When someone walks away although your intentions are good and your heart is pure, then they fail to appreciate you. If another person fails to appreciate your goodness and love, you have not failed. The issue lies within the other. It is never possible to change someone else’s thoughts, actions, or heart unless they want to change. The only person you can change is yourself.

If you encounter difficulties, ask yourself if the path you are taking is the path you really want to follow. If you feel it is, don’t give up, but keep an open mind. If it’s not, keep traveling new paths until you find the one that leads to your happiness, well-being, the fulfillment of your potential, and the love of people who understand and respect you as you are.

© Sheri Jordan and Aunt Sheri Says, 2010.

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